I had a lazy monday,

I died my hair brown, then I put blonde highlights in it, and then i dyed the back purple with my manic panic, becuase Lindsay sent my purple stuff and it reminded me how fun hair dye is!

I like it! but the cut is starting to grow out, i kinda wanna fix it but i hate going to the hair school all the time, its weird there, and i also want to grow it becuase i kinda wanna get dreads again! haha.. anyways, I watched 13 last night, I really liked it. i kept thinking about parts, but mostly how the one girl was such a bad actor, and how the blonde girl was a very good actor, and she will probably get lots of movies, I really like movies with the girl "mel" they are always artsy and fucked up. I cant remeber her real name, but i want to watch more movies with her in it. anyways, I also rented about 6 other ones, but i have to bring back 21 grams before i even get to watch it, and i paid for it to.. i could watch it now, but im waitig for the rice i ate to digest then im going to the gym.

I had a bad dream last night about someone cutting me in half, and when i woke up i was still scared, like scared when i was a little kid and had nightmares, i had to turn on all my lights and close the door to the basement. a voice in my head told me i was having a nightmare becuase i rented the movie BAd Dreams, and it was evil, and i shouldnt watch it, so im going to take it back to! and not watch it. but then i get to watch mad love, and the sweet hearafter. I love watching movies! im aloser, weee.

I wrote in my real journal last night, it was good, i feel i havent got any real emotions out lately. Ive been bottling them up. It makes me sad to think of the guys I have dadted and become very close to, and now they are so distant.. I think alot about spending time in curtis's room, and just talking, I also think about the crazy emotions and feelings i shared with mickey, and the amazing energy he gave me. I think about Jusin, and how he made me feel encrdebly sexy, i also think about Brian, and how neat he was, he was just so into the earth, and food and spirituallty,it was so interesting. I really dont miss MAc at all yet, Im still in the I hate him phase, except i hate him alot! i wrote down a whole page of how much I hate him, everything about him i hate, he was so arrogant, and depressed, what fucking loser. I get so mad that i was so unhappy for so long, and all i needed to do was end our evil relationship. AH! I feel single, brock and I are no more, he is weird, and two different people when hes drunk and sober. but yeah, I feel like Im really getting to do things with and only for myself again, and its very rewarding! all i want to do is paint and stuff, im going to goto the gym now then when I come home i have a bunch of things i need to draw, then tomorrow im going to start a new painting. I finished a dolphin painting and i gave it to my mom. I dont know if i like it though, but its cool. yeah, im kinda still mad at cat, and i dont want to hang out with her all week, just so we can hang out on the weekend and i might like her again.. meh. aaron is fucked up to, i dont feel like calling him either. he needs to get laid or something, but hes being really creepy, and him and cat still make out! ah