So yeah. I just spent the last hour reading back to all the journal entrys i had. It seems as though I moved farily quickly from relationship to relationship, and my happieness fluxuates alot. mostly beacuese i hate people, but im still so attacthed to them. the way i typed has changed, it doesnt feel like i wrote what was being said. its weird. I cant believe how happy i was at some points. Happieness these days is like some huge joke! i mean im satisfied sometimes but defintaly not happy. "i feel like there is a rainbow over me right now" protecting my from stress?? what the fuck. i was way to happy go lucky. But my dreams have been the same. its fun to read back and see the things i have accomplished, Like fall in love, play in the mountains, pay off school.travel to europe and then there are the thnings i said i wanted to do, like goto Hair school, art school, own a buisness, surf in austrailia, which are the same things i still want to do. i hate myself so much. and this pathetic life i have created to live in. My eye site is lacking. damn the computer i think that its the blinding light. what else. oh yeah. thats it. life sucks i want out. and yeay its christmas fuck everyone