today I am thinking about a guy all day. His name is JOel. Joel Gonzalez. He is very nice and cute and warm and sunny. my intuition tells me its going to change a little bit. but that I will always want to remember the dinner we had last night.
I felt very content with him chatting. and I could chat with him for hours.
He picked me up, and I felt a little shy. he has a black Lincoln. I think that's what it is. its nice. I at first thought it was anotger audi. it looked just like ratuls. and I was glad it wasn;t. that sounds funny to say.
He looked super cute, in his nice jacket and he has short cute brown hair, a cute beautiful smile. dark brown eyes, and he looks you right in the eyers when he talks. He had a bacnd on kinda like Sirius radio I think, the alternictve old kinda music. like nine inch nails. I cant remember the song that was playing. that kinda sucks. it was a like matthew good band. I was nervous. sort of nervous that its Italian and I don't eat cheese or pasata. but I wasn't gonna be retarted and ask for gluten free pasta.
linkin park.
so we went upstairs to the restuarnt and he told me the history of it, and we walked past a pretty piano and he said how on the weekened it was super busy. and he said something about it would just be the two of us there.
I hope it turns into very romantic. im not good at that kinda thing anymore.
I need to take a course in romance, because im so silly.
so we sat, and he ordered a white wine, and I had a glass of water. the waitress was nice. brown hair. he asked if I drank sometimes. and I said yes. oh only if he knew. I hate drinking. then he asked about what I eat, and I said chicken and vegetables, because other food hurts. and I said how I would just get grumpy and weird. and he said that's what happened when I had fondu at his house. because I just had to leave after. lol
it just makes me feel like death.
the wall paper was pretty, everything was bright and clean and pretty. I felt like I didn't quite wear the right shoes or pamts.; but my shirt was nice.
I was in a good mood, trying not to be too shy.
he was telling me about when he came there with people from work.
I really want to kiss him because we haven't kissed yet.
so we ordred a salad with cappacioa beef stuff, it was good. he talked about how he was from Venesuala/ dear god I don't know how to spell. and I said I didn't know much of anything about south America, that I had been to belieze, and he said that was northen, and he was in central. and he said that people back in the day came from Italy spain, etc, and there was a lot of oil there. so his parents came. he speaks a couple languages.
before going to dinner with him, teena ault said she used to work with him.
anyways, his sister had brest cancer in florida and lives in Miami. and he went down for her chemo and it was awful.
we talked about medical stuff and I said how I hated the medicine and didn't like being a nurse and was caught in the middle of going towards natural medince or botox.
and that I kinda wanted to be a medic, and worked at the hospital here too.
he said he liked naturalpath that they both can work together and that his sisters tumos shrunk a lot.
he talked about how he is going to get out of his comfort zone more, and go to fight a ticket for passing past the double lines on the highway. he mentioned something about not being sucicidal.
I talked about taking art in school and how my dad was a teacher and we were close, and my mom drinks a lot and is from Scotland, and I said I went to Scotland a lot. and florida a lot. I can tell he loves music and art, he said something about the tenners and there were four of them singing the song that was playing. and it was a really nice song and he said they were the youngest.
he mentioned something about Stephen hawking and how hes is very smart, and that somewhere in the galaxy smartyer humans exsist and they are a million times smarter than us. and that kinda stuff is neat. he said he thinks one day we will be able to prove energy stuff, and I told him how I learned about reiki. and it had been a while and that I used to work at a video store.
I said I was a hippy and my dad lvied in Taiwan for a while and was a Buddha.
I had a nice dinner with hin, and he started to talk about the movie with matt damon good will hunting, and the part of the movie when robin Williams heals matt damon by saying youre the smartest guy in the world, you can read anything and retain it. you know everything about art. but you don't know about love and the human heart. he said how he had been in a relationshop for 25 years and she died and he wouldn't know that pain from a book.
matt damons charctor is closed in a box,
anyways then he said my face was proportionate to that law of rations, which was really sweet and I didn't know how to take the compliement. and ijust stared at his face and admired it for a bit. he has a nice face ( :
hes so cute. so then we went home and he dropped me off. I felt awkward asking him into my house, because my hoise is so random. and I explained im living here to learn about psychic stuff. then on my mirror it said something about cutting joels energy cord from me. because the last two weeks I have been getting his thoughts in my head. all sorts of his thoughts. I will tell you more about them soon.
I need to update this everyday because so much is happening in my life right now.
I HOPE ADN pray that this turns into love. because he has everything. he needs to be fixed a little, he has a nice hosue, but wants to move eventually, he likes me, and didn't make me feel bad- except in my room after he read the mirror thing.
he said stuff like traveling with me, and meeting my parents.
<3
he asked about my work and if I could take time off to go on random trips ( :
he has an amazing personality, he is intellectual, has great taste, understands the good and bad side of life. didn't judge me for being a gypsy. and he smelled my hand all cute.
awe I hope that I get to be in real love. ( : and we can look at the starts together and have kisses that never end.
hes special. I don't know, I just want him to smile and be happy and be everything he can be. I feel like he works out, he gives back, hes social, and helikes to try new things and admits to using therapy. hes just so good ! I can learn from him too im sure.
im incredibly insecure about lving arrangements and if it was love, that would be something that had to be discussed. I couldn't affod to have another evan situation. funny thing is, if everything goes good. I would be on one hand all in. because I think hes awesome. and on the other hand, perfectly fine as friends. as long as whatever happens is all positive. im happy to have met him.
when I went to sleep my brain saw some cool images about sould evolving then going up to other planets