Happy New years. Its January 2nd. 1 more day left for me in Barrie.
My Dr. Appointment is tomorrow and thats the last thing I was waiting for. Its been a nice christmas, weve all been getting along, me cappy rocky dan sam and ma and pa, yes indeed.
New years me and sam got wasted and mushroom high and hung out all night in the basement talking about everything, and I read him my book "the end of the world" and he really liked it! he said he cant right like me and he like the layers. It said it was weird hearing himself as a character that was really me. I want to write more. I never fully read that book since I finished it and it seemed cool on mushrooms! haha.
Anyways, we got our car, Im a little afraid there might be something wrong with it becuse its so old, but were hoping it willat least get us otu west. haha. we have to get it insured and everything still, were probbaly going to start that process tomorrow, Im not sure how long everything will take now, but were in no hurry, Im just excited to goto the island of Vancouver. Were going to start there and look for a place, pay a couple months rent then get a studio together and hopfully find some kind of work in the next little while and just fully make jewellery and do some wholesaling or craft sales. It would take a bit of time and dedication, but we have enough money to last a while now. so it could be cool if it all works out! I have so many things in my mind I want to make out of jewellery, things I wanetd to do in school but didnt get the chance. It will be so gggreeeat!
Hmm, It will be weird leaving here once again. It seems so now, and everything here I think I wont forget, but it will all be a memory so soon, hanging out in the basement, breakfast and dinner with the parents, lots of warm showers, cds and movies. its so comfortable here, but I must go on my way and find my own comfortable place. Families shouldnt work like that tho. we should be happy here and grow to be one big super family unit. But they want us out there to see how "hard" it is, becuase they say how hard it was for them and we get it so easy. But thats it, Theyve found out how to make it easy for a family, isnt that what everyone wants? a family to help eachother out? not send them out in the cruel world to fend for themselves, because thats what they had to do, so they think its unfair that we dont have to do that. So they close the door to the comfy house and send us out to find our own freedom. Im never having kids!
Its funny to hear my brother complain all the time about how he wnats out of here, and my parents arent listening to him, he doesnt realize what its really like out there. Money is impossible. Therefor life is. !
ah I hate money. It scares me now.
oh well. I have a car! i love cars. ahhhh cars.
so thats that, my parents say this time yet again they are going to sell the house in the summer, but thats when this house is awsome so i doubt they will, but itwould be weird if this is the last time I will get to sleep in my childhood bed. i will think about this place forever. It makes me sad to think one day I wont be able to come back here, and let this place wrap me in a safe blanket, and that secrurity of clouds that cover my eyes, and it says everything will be alright.
If I never wanetd anymore then this I probably could stay forever.. Why do I need and want things?
In the end this is where I will be, a famly hosue with a dog, and children probably. theres not really anything out there, Its all "in here"
reconnect with yourself.