Ok Crystal its time you be honest with yourself about what your real wants are.
I think you really want to be an artist above all things.
But you're born a healer. so you're meant to work with people and help them.
I like your law of attraction work sheet that you started doing. You should work on that more. and get to the bottom of peoples prob;ems and tach them they can help themselves and then you can turn that book in to art project and sell it. I think thats a great idea. it can be a work book for people/
I do truly want people to feel better inside emotionally so they can achieve there dreams and make life love and good things reality/
I want to draw and become an amazing artist.
thats where my should purpose lies/
so when yo wonder whats important. Look at your art desk for answers. because it lies there.

you can draw about channeling, yu can paint and meditate. you can be in that world. you can communicate with spirits. you can draw fashion and faces and all those good things.
Work simple not extra not harder. dont give in to any doubt or disbelief . stop over thinking or worrying you will be just fine.
You do lashes, and work on your art. it will be a spring board for art. I give you one more year. if that.
save your money properly then put the extra towards art . and learn and draw and focus on that. not money.
just focus on creating.
drawings sculptures learning about colours or drawings
follow successful artists. learn from them. dont give up on these dreams. you started this journal on a mac in barrie in art college. you already did it. now do it PLEASE just sit and doodle and create and draw. dont keep applying to jobs you have 2
and they take up too much of your time as it is.
Practice phototgrapy, set up the lights, play with makeup again.
remove negativity and ego. just find love.
Be love everything is love. its all love/
let go and just love. Love where you are right now.
love everything about now.
Look outside with your awesome glasses! LOVE THIS
Love that I love everything