I know what I want. but sometimes that is so hard to achieve.
I wish I knew how to spell better.
And I wish I knew grammar better.
I wish I didn't give away that sweet canadian writers book to that girl when I did her hair.
I would write and blog and be famous.
Sometimes I just really don't know what I want or need or have, or don't have.
Do you know what I mean? Of course you do. You are me. You understand. Except in this circumstance. You don't seem to quite understand.
And I feel like that is why we are having the mis understanding.
I'm soo annoyed. Red cross money, Mogo Money
Lash money, Microblade money.

What do I want? And why accept nothing. and then spend on stupid things?
What is wrong with you?
When I dig really fucking deep.
There are legit things wrong with me.
FEAR. Fear of falling apart
Fear of losing my mind.
Fear of being trapped at the other side.
Fear of losing myself
losing reality
This reality.
On earth.
I disappear and travel to dark unknown.
But my mind creates such vivid realities.
AS much as I want to stay there, I know I have to come back here.
And then I'm afraid again.
Am I still here? OR did I run away.
Do I hate or do I love?
WHy so fucking torn