Today I feel relived that I worked. And I didn't work extra or over, or crazy or not crazy I just worked. I am back at the salon. With Lacey. She has once again been very nice to me. I am renting the salon for 500 a month. And just paid for the rest of the month $250. lately i have been spending a ridiculous amount of money on stuff. and started using a credit card freely. I am afraid. Glad today that everyone paid and tipped me. they seemed to be really happy with their lashes. and today I feel like i did a really good job with their lashes. I wish I took pictures of everyones but I didn't. I have sone clients i have dones so many times I dont wanna keep adding the same photos. but my work is getting better so thats eccitig. my lashes are so isolated and i love ny tweezers glue and lashes right now. They are all working so well together. Which reminds me. Eyelash Canada said they would send me some lashes and they haven;t. Today i ponder men. I feel like i want a boyfriend. and maybe I'm still not ready for one. one guy plays me. the other i dunno. fuck it. why do i want a bf again? I just need some physical contact sometimes. who gives a fuck about anything else. i think i would like to be a dominatrix in real life. Just boss around boys. let them know who's queen. yes queen. they would kneel down to me and kiss my toes. wouldst that be great? That nice person that used to reside in me has died. i no longer believe in love and companionship. Yesterday i went for lunch with darlene. and important words she shared about the guy going into the shower and washing me off. she said it should sting. That i shuld find a guy who's looking to be my companion not just sex. and she i said i should find someone who isn't dumb texting his friends. or drinking or playing other women. Just stop settling for all theese games and find someone who actually wants be with you.
Im pretty happy with myself. I need to distance myself from some people for sure. but i need more focus on journaling, writing my book and reading and art. When i move into my new place one of the bedrooms is going to be used to do art, Its just going to be my hobby room. I'm going to paint draw, do crystals jewellery, everything magical and amazing from that room.
one will be my pretty bedroom. my living room will be nice my kitchen will be crazy and then my art room will be a paradise . i will get a printer to print out my ideas and lots of canvases and day light bulbs. and uv lights and plants.
then i will go to town with painting and drawing and just setting up the messiest studio ever and full on go into creative land. I cannot wait! one room will have my computer for writing books and there will be plants growing, and the other will be art!!! so much art, and i will begin a library, and have lots of paper on the walls so i can write poems on them, and fun stuff. it will be a full on crazy person room ( : i will put plastic and stuff around it so i don't ruin anything. I'm worried that monkey may not adjust to this place as well. because it doesn't have as many windows. i hope i don't go crazy like i did last winter, that was so hard. It felt like the walls were caving in on me. Im afraid. hopefully in march i won't be here. thats my worst month.
Note to self... leave in march
and don't be like michelle. save your money