So i turned 26 this month.. it was quite gay.. mom complained about how much she spent on my birthday, but it was nice to have some friends by and joy was here for most of the time which was cute... he didnt bring me a card though... where's my card?! hahah laura got me a nice card it had a gift cerifticate for 25 $ so i owe her for her birthday...
meh life has been.
you kknow it hasnt changed much. which i find is crazy. the main topics in my life are, quit smoiking, work out and be a better hairdersser... when is that going to chanege? i mean entering comps is my new things plus getting my stuff in magazines but maybe i shouldnt be so obsessed with thethings that can't change and just add to things i could be greta at.. i really want to be successuful like really succseslful and i think i could be the type of person who could do all of those thins.
but i never know.
i never really know a whole bunch of things like my moods and my reactions to other peoples moods but i feel like life should be real now but it definatly isnt its still a dream.// can you believe that?
i dont understand.........
well thats all
i am alon with my thoughts because obviusly no one carse to liseten to them.
i dont undertsand why there isnt more people like me out there..
impretty sure i havent met anyone who is like me.
i mean soimeone who feels like the world is againsnt them.. and someone who still has sometyhing to prove.. some one out there who can share feelings.. are we still attracted to people becuase of reasons swe have nmo idea about?
i dont even know why the fuck i still carei think im drun but thats normak living in my house/.
all i can hear is my om and joy rambling on about stupid dvd crap i tried to talk about somthing else and they made mej feel like i am crazy.

I keep havuing these dreams lately.
where i have memeories in my dreams about dreams ive had in the past. like i keep going to victoira but i end up in lake lousie... and im looking for a job, or im at ciodriington and im intthe coat room looking for my things...
i also have weird dreams that keep reacrring beyond that.
maybe iu should keep track of it so i can explain this world a little easiser.
yeayayyayyayya
ahhhh maybe drink now
chow chow