wow its been 11 days since i have updated,
This should be my sanctuary. Its sad my older entries are getting deleted. but i love this diary so much i cant find a new one.
Well Im unsettled today, I have a bad feeling about work, and me being a hairdresser. Of course I am going to have doubts, of course I could find other jobs, but i wanted to enjoy this one. It seems i find it hard to enjoy almost anything.
I am sad about not finding love, and especially not finding love within myself,
Im not sure what is around the next corner for me, but my mind seems to have its own mind.
is that right>
I wish i was working for myself. I just have to think of the righht game plan.
I could make lots of jewellery like planned. and hop on a road trip and try to sell it.
I need goals in my daily life.
Do I need someone to talk to?
I think I just need organization.
My heart is addicted to loving boys, who dont love me.
and I feel nothing boy crazy lust must end.
My life is more important then that fairy tail. happily ever after. happieness is unstable, forever changing into bitterness, so i must not strive for happieness, i just strive for peace and balance within my heart and mind, so we can live a stable life.
My life is turning into a routine, I feel like I work to much, and I feel like Iam not doing a good job.
How can i ground myself?
I cant wait for these spins to stop,. I hate being depressed.. i hate being lazy.
I enjoy going to the gym, going snowboarding, painting making jewellery, and working part time. Maybe if they keep me I will ask for less hours. I thin taht is my problem.
me and Annie have some work to do, if we want to show the world we are hairdressers.
I need a pile of confidence for us.
hi cappy
Why do I feel so insecure?
my life changes so often I am confuesd of what my life really is.
I am scared to die, but everything dies, to be immortal doesnt make sense to me. I want to learn how to be the truest light, the kindest hearted person.
Give up these ties, Avoid the suffering.. life is painfull
Why cant it just go away?
everyday I live, I love
I turn, i fade, i grow old.
I have never felt old, other then the day I turned 13, i think i cried, I was in denial of being a teenager, it felt so old to me. I wantto be a child forever.
today when i awoke, i felt my body, it feels like the body of a 22 year old. I dont like to feel age. I dont like to feel my face getting weatherd, my bones getting older instead of stronger.