2005-06-02 / / / / im retarted, but really its ok.. I am

So Im just waiting for paint to dry.. should be dry soon
Oh god Im so retarted.
I got a job at Identity and turned it down, as a cook, free training and all..
Then now Im thinking of not going to hair school.
Im a crazy lunatic..
My dad seems to be influencing that decision but maybe he is right
Im not really sure.
It probably will be a waste of 10 months.. I dont really care to be a fucking hair stylest.. there a bunch of fucked up fake losers who think they look cool..
Oh god.
So Ive got a plan..
I want to do art.
I love art, it makes me happy.
Today wes came over and suprised me, it was embarasing, becuase I was all dressed in a skirt and stuff becuase I was bored and Im weird, and He scared the crap out of me becasue he just walked in my backyard, and i was like, hi... um Im going to go change! and then we went bike riding to his house and got a cappocino at tim hortons.
we went to his house to wait for tony.. and we made out on his couch..
I think im in make out heaven...
really.. I love it. he tickles me and gives my whole body goosebumps. Im worried though.. He hasnt got into my pants yet. I think Im loose.. Thats what some people said when they were making fun of girls who have abortions,,. Oh yeah! it was in Dogma, Jay and Silent bob. They said they wanted to hang out at the abortion place becuse those women are lose... oh my.
Im scared. Im not loose, I just get obsessive and touchy.
ERRRackckckc
i like his eyes though. and he hasnt completly taken over my mind yet.
Hes a nice guy. And pretty open.
We made out in the tent, and cat and her boyfriend were making out to, and aaron was there trying to sleep./.. it was really strange.
But it felt like we were all bohemian love monkeys. Who really didn't care, and we were all in the moment, and the moment was sexy.
but yeah.. after we went for our bike ride and before we made out on his porch, we sat on some grass and ants attacked us.
it was special.
Then Tony came over, and we went to fitzys for beer and wings, then to Home Depot and I bought herbs, and they bought wood and hes making a frame.
His stuffed animal creation turned out really awsome.. They look like martians that i want to eat, and hug!
hahaha
Then we all went out for coffee with Lindsay, it was fun to.
I feel like Lindsay and Tony should hang out. Tony has almost the same birthday as me, which is weird becuase I felt like i would meet a cancer, or did meet a cancer, I could feel one was near.
I have been really Psychic lately.. its kinda scaring me. more psychic though like a dog would be..
its cool.
I dont know but i like it.
hmmm mm
tomorrow I have to ride my bike to find glass and finish my projects, i have so many
and yeah.. I probably wont goto hair school. its to much for me. i dont think i will ever be able to do anything again.
ASAHAHAHHAHAH
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I love myself

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