Wow I really didnt update my whole time in port alberni?! thats fucked..
OH MY, that situation was crazy. how i remeber it::
First I went to vancouver, stayed with his cousin for a couple days, until she said, Oh my friend is moving in you guys cant stay here anymore, then she dropped us off in Salt Spring at her friends house, who ended up letting us stay there for a few days, then we ended up with sams other cousin who lived on a house boat, and we stayed with her for a bit, until we both found jobs and moved into a place in Salt spring with some crazy room mates, after that failed and we couldnt find a place, we went back to sams cousins friends house, and looked like mad for a place, until we bought a camper van so we could store our stuff. Then one day in the van after work we went to fucking tofino, to camp in the rain, until that killed us, so then we went to Port Alberni which was a pretty shitty town, and we got a huge apartment cheap where we finally set up a pretty rockin studio, which the "fucker" still gets to play in.. Anyways, we had soapstone going and made it pretty much an everyday thing to carve something. I made 4 butterflys and a few necklaces, once I started making bigger things it took more time,. Then i didnt want to carve butterflies anymore, and after the fantasy faded away from wanting to start a studio out west and make it, I realized what the fuck am I doing with Sam? and why does he get to make all the decisions. AH what a controlling bastard. fuck man Im so mad
anyways the apartment looked out to mountains and sunsets, and a ghetto of all ghetto towns more depressing then barrie, and i somehow managedto stay there longer then a month. but fuck that there was something strange blocking my view of the real world.
What was i really doing? I was so into making the studio go, that when it stopped I realized there was nothing else, and the heavy depression started. There was no love, there were no friends, no job, and somehow I spent 4000$ fucking crazy HUH?
by then I was in tears everday, thinking this is what i wanted why arent I happy? but only 3 days after moving into that place i found out I was pregnent.. and it started getting to me in the end, because my health got devoured, I couldnt eat anything, drink anything, or move.. I dont know why it was so bad, but it seemed when I got close to sam it got worse.. then i was running away from him all the time and terrified he was going to kill me
Fuck it turned ito a nightmare
TBC