2004-06-01 / / / / Im leaving today good bye cruel world

Oh my goodness Life is to stressfull today. I have to pack up my life once again, and goto Toronto then to see sam then maybe to banff.. I have my driving test in about an hour, and then i have to get my glasses fixed. im so stresed out, I am sooo poor i wont have any money to eat or anything. I have 62#$ left on overdraft, and I need to pay my credit card bill which is 1419.00 so that will be like 30$ or somthing.. oh bother. How did i get so in debt? I need to go back outwest to make money or im going to freak out. FREAK OUT!!! someone just give me 1000$ for free. and I will be ok.. HAHAHA Yeah.. anyways my stomach is in a huge knot I cant think clearly until I either pass or fail my Gtest, I just need to get it over with! wholy crap.

So yeah, I went out for dinner with Meredth last night, and we talked about stuff, and I realzid how good i was doing about not over obseesing over any guys right now! i dont have the need or want for one, Im basically fine on my own, and realize i dont want a guy unless they are worth it.

Meredth however was freaking out a little over losing bradford, her ex. but if they are meant to be things will work out. I think she can find better fishes in the sea.

Yeah, then i visited Cat and she seemed upset. Mostly because she was crying as I came in the door, Im not sure over what, I didnt really want to ask. But I have her a necklace and said goodbye. I also gave meredeth a necklace they were both cool.

hmmm what else. Oh Im going to miss Cappy so much...!!!!!

and Rocky. I dont know what Im doing its so annoying. I hope i find something out there. I just feel so weird about leaving right now. I dont know what to bring, if imgoing to the banff springs or not! its radiculous!

oh well. time will tell. Im sure if i hang out with sam he wont let me leave anyways. boo ya, But I will have to find out how long my ticket is valid for

eek ekk ekekekekekekkee

AHHAHAHAHAH im so stressed. SO STRESSED!

Ive been smoking sober lately, I have smoked 3 packs since I went to Port Stanley, but yesterday was my first day not having one, They have started to make my throat really hurt. And I cant even really inhale them anymore.

I think its good, I shouldnt smoke. I only smoke about 1-3 a day. but i just do for the nicotine buzz. but its not really that exciting. It kinda makes me feel more stressed to.

So yeah, I dont think Im going to smoke the rest of my pack. Unless I find somekind of neat indian herb or Salvia, or something lighter to smoke. Its kind of a fun escape.

My old job at Laggons is hiring. Im sure they would hire me in a second., Its in Lake Louise.. but I want to kinda goto Jasper. I just have this feeling about Jasper, that i need to go there for some weird reason. I dont feel at all like I should be going to Banff. ALthough I would find a job, Banff just isnt the right place for me

and i was kinda tierd of the Lake, But it would be different without being so attatched to Malcolm. I could actually have fun! and meet cuter hippies! muhahha

nah.. arg. what will i do. I need money so bad. YUCK! money spit grr

I cant wait to go visit Aaron, and then goto Kensignton and look at beads. Im going to get beads for our neacklaces and sam said he would remberce me. i cant wait. It will be weird to see sam this time. Our time ended with a cuddled sleep. and a mad girlfriend. I hope nothing happens between us, I dont need this right now. I dont even like the thought of being around SAm when his ex, is freaking out about where he is. they need to make up, and i need to be friend. arrrrr. last i heard sam had talked to her. weve been emailing back and forth. First because I saw the guy she showed my in a picture, that she had dreamed about, and i thought it was so weird. then i saw him the next day. it was the weirdest thing that ever happened. And then meet your meat, and shes now a veggie to.

Im Veggie for 6 months now!!!!! I should celebrate, eat some tofu!

I have bascially been a veggie for a while, hard core since the summer. But off and on my parents try to feed it to me.. I have had the occasional chicken wing, but I havent been able to even eat that anymore, my body just wont let me. Its strange. I just cant eat the flesh of another anymial it makes me sick.

OK

MEET YOUR MEAT look for it on the web, you will never eat meat again!

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