Oh its Saturday morning, the things I should be doing today!

Well I already got up at 6am, my dad left his alarm on, so I got up and went for a big walk down town and admired the lake melting, I also took a whole role of film. On trees and stuff! it was fun, I felt adventurous, I also got to the tim hortons downtown before it opened! Then I went back to sleep, and listened to Thrush Hermit, they are fun every once and a while. Then I finished my flower painting! and its perfect. more perfect then i imagined.

Yes, so the things I need to do today, are goto the south end and buy new brid food for captain becuase hes running very low! then get a sketch book, and some pencils, maybe wax and carving tools. and black and white paint. and then im going to develop pictures at walmart.

I already called no frills this morning and I have an interview on Wednesday now, not today. I guess I didnt call soon enough. anyways that is still exciting!

Oh man, Ive been in the best mood since I found out that Sam the jeweller guy really does have work for me! it starts with a project of nature drawings i think, so he knows my skills, then if i keep going through with his process I will get to help him in his Tattoo/piercing studio, carve waxes and design stuff! Its for his own shop called Hostile studios, near Sarnia i think. I could read the email and find out. but hopefully were going to meet up soon to see what the whole deal is! Im excited now, the job will start in June, but theres little pieces of work I get to do from home until then! he said he was testing something with me, basically hes had bad apprentices before, and he wants to make sure I will be very dedicated or somthing and fit in to his studio. I'm not really sure the chances of me actually getting to work there for the summer becuase it seems like it would be a cool job, but im sure if i get to know him more maybe he will train me more and i will have the skills to stick around his place. or maybe my skills are good enough? Im not sure. But as a back up Im going through with the Banff Springs Hotel interviews, i have my last one on Monday and im not missing it for anything! I also really hope i get the no frills job, that will hold me over for a couple months. I think tomorrow if its nice out I will drop my resume everywhere, like even mr. sub and stuff. places that i wont feel bad if i quit after a month or two!

Things are good in Barrie at the moment, I have this incredible need to paint now, and I'm already starting a new one. I guess springs creativity is in the air! and an artistic job offer, I want to start practicing! So im going to buy a sketch book and start drawing some more.

I think maybe even if i dont get the jewllery job i should start to carve waxes and things to see what i can still do on my own. just to keep using my skills.. yeah. But i cant wait to go back upstairs and paint, Im painting a picture of a fairie but only the outline, it will be in the evening and shes trying to blend into a tree. and her eyes will be staring at me. muhahaha.

I think thats it, i need to get my hair cut! ah. but i need money first, I really just want to go all out and spend 2000$ on nothing with my credit card, just for some excitment! but I dont think that is a good idea at all! becuase I can use that money for travelling, or if i desperatly need to get out of here, or if i dont find a job for a while, i should reserve the credit, for times like these. shopping beats depression! im sure of it!!

ah, cat and aaron and malcom are sooooo depressed. and all we ever talk about is suicide. Oh yeah, Malcolm is back, and he called me last night. and he cried and i gave in and said, he should come over on tuesday.. oh no. I dont want to get back. I need to be single.

Me and brock were supose to hang out last night, i rented x men for us to watch, but he called at like 1pm and was like im still working, i wont be done until 2pm. and i was like oh well then i'll just watch this movie by myslef and i did and it was good! he was like, oh I'll come over after still, and I said no, I want to sleep, and tomorrow I cant hang out with you becuase i have things to do. and he was sad because he wanted me to kinda goto his band practice, but i was so mad. He was supose to call me at 1130, you know when i was home from work, instead he called at like 11pm,when i was still at work my brother said he didnt leave a message he just asked if i was there. So i thought he was on his way or something. grr i felt ditched. But good, becasue i dont know about him, i iwish he would just disapeer, i want to meet new guys, not brock, hes weird.

I read his aura, and he didnt even let me tell him what i saw. I saw that he makes up part of his life becuase he doesnt know who half of his family is, so he makes himself what he wants to be, I also saw this meaning he kind of lies. But i saw good things like he gives all his breath to people, to make them laugh, or to like him. and when he sleeps is the only time he truly thinks about himself. But it also meant that he was very dependent on people and had a need to fit in. He also had a tremendous amount of pain he holds, sort of regret from the people he has hurt, and he brings that pain back in his life when he needs to break down. It was weird, it felt like he has done some mean things to people, but will never forgive himself.. I also saw that hes on a good path, but its a hard one, he always has alot on his shoulders, and he has to work for everything, but everything he starts will grow, and he wont let it stop growing even if its dead. Like a job, or girlfriend, he keeps those things going forever, he thinks he can keep them alive forever, and it kills him when things like that die. I also saw that with his path, music and designing were what he was supose to be doing, but they wont get easy. But he was definatly creative and an alive spirit. He has a big wall to, actually i saw it as a suitcase, that someone gave him, maybe a friend or something, he has a wall of confidnce and strength, that was really weird, becuase it wasnt natural, it was like someone had helped him build it. but it was really strong, he also has alot of anxiety, im not sure why, but i think its becuase hes scared, mostly of not being able to start things i think? im not to sure. anyways.. what else was there. he loves kids, and plants he has a big fasination with the way things grow, it was weird, like he adds the water to things.. I also felt like he cant hold back from temptation, and he is kind of feminine in what he belives is beautiful, Like giant buildings with beutfil arctecture, or an orange bird flying in the sky, or the way a movie star twinkles, if that makes sense im not sure, but his sense for beauty intangles him, and magazines, clothes, things like that, that are beautful he is extremly tempted by. Like if he had a chance to look at julia roberts wearing a beutiful dress in a castle, he would go in a heart beat.

anyways what a weird aura, i wish i had a chance to talk with him about it. but whatever, venting on dland was good enough!