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good morning. or wait its not quite morning yet.

Im sooo tierd. I just watched the movie GO, it was good, ,it made me think. and replay everything and then fit it into my life.

Im so lazy, and add or something. its so hard for me lately to get things done that I want to. I mean I cant even work up the effort to make phone calls. I dont know whats wrong with me.

awe.. so me and malcolm are still broken up, but just for the weekend? Its so weird not wasting time with him on the phone, but it feels good I think weve been bringing eachother down alot lately. I havent gone a complete day without talking to him for a million years, that its so weird.. and I feel kinda happy. a little less stressed! i mean yesterday morning sucked becuase we were breaking out of the break up fight to talk about getting back togther, but what if its better if we dont? I dont know why I like him so much, we dont take pictures together, or talk about philosophy, we dont even like the same music. he has never once been interested in anything i listen to. I almost am building this slight hatred towards him, which is horrible. but I completly have given him mylsef, im wasting to much energy. but i will waste more because i owe it to him, so one day he can be happy. plus i hate finding new b/fs becuase it never lasts.

oh man. Im so lazy. its bugging me! i did goto the gym today and worked out so much, i ran for 35 min or something crazy, and i ran, and before that i had already done my whole work out, weights and everything.

Listening to music and working out is fucking awsome. so is taking pictures, i took pictures of cappy today, i think they will turn out good, that is if my camera isnt still fucked.

i feel excited about things, yesterday i put beads in my hair and put on jewellery and and rearanged my earings, i forgot how fun those simple things can be, I usually havent been wearing jewllery, and i dont care to draw more attention to my hair. but i felt like it was my nature to decorate myself and i was ignoring those inner impulses. Im a loser. its funny. internet backgammon is additcive.