so yeah, I went snowboarding today. I got in free becasue my brother works there, they have a pretty sweet deal for friends of employees! But I sucked i only stayed for an hour. i did 7 runs, and i just got worse! i need more practice, but i like to give up before i try. so yeah, I had a pretty boring day besides that. It is great having a parrot though. I always have a friend! its cool. i took lots of pictures of him, He was standing on a mirror and holding one of my rainbow bracelets, I think the pictures will turn out real neeto like. halilooya. hahhahahahah thats the best spelling. but anyways Ive been so blah lately, SO blah. Ive become numb. numb to everything in a permenent bad mood. i havent really been social, or even made much of an effort to be nice to my family. we are going to the zoo tomorrow! now thats exciting. Im in the boyfriend mode, where the only person I need is my dude. Im in love so inlove. but a little depressed. but i love depression. and i love being in love. accept this is a good kind of love. i want malcolm to be with me everywhere everyday! i cant wait to live with him again.. i wonder what our future will hold. Hes picking me up on sunday so i can spend the last week of my holidays with him in hamilton, but its weird, i have to bring my bird. I feel like i have a kid! its a real commitment. He was first going to pick me up on his way back from ottawa, but his family will be in the car, and so will his dog,. he would have room for me, but not the bird to. its weird working things around a silly bird. but the bird is neet! awe.

I hope malcolm and I get married and live happily ever after. but i really dont ever want to get married, and happieness doesnt really exsist! and if it does its only temporarly. But i hope i know when things should end, I feel like my last couple of boyfriends didnt end very well. and i swore i would never want a guy in my life again.. so yeah obviously i will doubt that anything good could come out of our relationship, but i honestly hope it does. ok to to