ahhh i feel so dead like...

ewww im finally awake though, yesterday i sat on my couch all day barly concious in a crazy world of my own, and i slept for about the past 15 hours. I did E and coke with cat at some persons house, like 2 nights ago! and i drank before that, so i felt like a huge bag of poo yesterday. my lips are soo chapped and they hurt and are bright red. im never doing extacy again! it was such a fun night though, ive done it once before, but the first time i did it was nothing like the second. i felt so interested in conversation and couldnt stop talking! i wanted to do reiki on everyone and tell them stories. although when you do drugs, oh yes we mixed in some weed. you lose your memory, its really annoying. i would be talking to someone for about 1 min, then completly forget what we were talking about, and i would ask them and they forgot to. or they would reply to my questions and i had no idea at all what i just asked them!! it was fucked up. i was very fucked up. alcohol+coke+weed+extacy === very messed up psycho crystal! i was very happy though, the whole night i was though even before ii did retarted drugs, I saw alot of people at fitzys and i felt un ignored! or like i wanted to see people. and cat and i had alot of fun together and talked about weird things. anyways, im happy to feel myself again, I had shakes and my body was so cold. and it wouldnt let me sleep for a while. drugs started wednesday at 1230am we were up the whole day about 17 hours after i did the stuff was i able to sleep. that means i was awake for over 30 hours or something i think. without sleeping. its now friday and i just woke up after my first night sleep since tuesday! ah im never doing drugs again. we did hang out at this really awsome guys apartment, and we all talked about spirtual stuff for a while, and tried to play cards. i feel embarased though, i really had no control over myself the whole night, i was talking and dancing and grinding my jaw without noticing it at all, until someone told me to settle down!

mickey came to, and it was cool spending a day with him. he seems like hes got some optimism in his future, and he wants to move to the states, and maybe get back into acting. hes a nice guy, but he always changes. he got along really well with cat for the night to, and he was brading her hair! it was funny.

i want to hang out with those people again and have sober conversation, like the guys who ownded the house, because they were really neet. ok syanara