2003-04-12 / / / / life is jugded life is waisted, pureness pours from giving minds and happy hearts. pull this girls tragic life apart.

i had a fun nite, wow let me tell you, being really drunk in public is good for nobody! i had an awsome time with cat, gurls are fun to hang out with. i stayed with rus for the nite we got sandwhices at regies and mine had hoarse raddish on it, i think i was so drunk i couldnt read the sheet that you mark stuff on so they make the sandwhich according to that and mine turned out scary, hahaha i think its funny. we went to the roxx and traffic and ruans we went all over and danced and scared people, just me and cat! and people bought us alcohol, damn the alcohol. damn russ. i think hes nifty, and were going to hang out tomorrow, im not sure if i like him like him, but i like how comfortable we are together. yes. im going to hang out with meredth today, were walking to the gym going swimming in their pool then to the store to get ice cream cones, mmm then were comming back to my house, hopefully find cat and do the whole drinking thing again! yes alcoholism. i love not caring abuot things and just letting things do whatever. ive spent to much of my time worring about how crappy people are and the evil things were doing to the planet, i am evil. i also feel like i need to celebrate hard core becuase im done school. well im done school in my mind, technically i still have a couple things to work out, but it will take me no time at all, im just going to be a procastonar. i am the procastonar. mu hahaha

the whole situation with andy is weird, we never really got to the whole "clicking" stage, i dont feel attached to him as much as i felt i would, it seems i spend most of my time trying to figure him out and why were together if i dont have a huge crush on him, we definatly rushed things, i cant belive it, i thought we were moving slow but i realized i dont even know why were together. i feel dumb that way, whevener a guy pays slight interest in me i get so excited. i need to live by meredeths rules and not go for every guy. i also question my sexuality in a slight way, just because of that crazy sara girl, i almost feel my gigantic boy crazyness is an illusion or a distraction, something i just have for entertainment but i dont actually like guys. there weirdos. well thats not true, haha whatever i really dont know what im talking about. all i know is i dont know nothing. life is jugded life is waisted, pureness pours from giving minds and happy hearts. pull this girls tragic life apart.

you know what bugs me, when people dont like me. im a loser, i deal with it. isnt that the best thing to have floating in your head? it scares me, that people judge people without knowing them. and rejection scares me so much to. its not fair. boo hoo. hahahaha i like ice cream. and artists. mmm brian did neet crazy art at school me like. fuck you

before \ \ \ \ after