flum.

jum.

wow another day? isnt that wonderfull

the sun is pretty today, i watched it rise as we drove andy to work so so early. i want to be a musician but i dont think i have ever been one before in any past lives or anything. every time i touch music i do nothing for it.

but i love music so much. its everything. today i am going to work at 1 which is soon! the interent is such a stupid place i waste so much time here. me and lindsay are hopefully hanging out tonight. i want to goto the library and find gothic dark art with dragons and spiders. i find it inspiring and i want to try doing darker things. i love rainbows but colours are so fake. i also want to find some poetry books for some inspiration. i think that would be fun. ispiration. so im on my reading week now. im planning on going to the studio to get caught up, and going to toronto to loook for apartments. and im still applying my resume everywhere out west but i havent really found anything yet. andy suggested we move to ottawa. it was just a suggestion, becasue he may get accepted to a school there and we should have that as an option becasue we could do that together. i said maybe, he would live with his granparents and i would live on my own. he said ottawa is nice. but i dont think that will actually happen. but its another idea to add to my plate. But i cant stop thinking about T.O and how many opportunities there are there. I could do my english thing, where you get the degree to teach in other countries and i could see so many concerts. that would be so fun. and there are lots of schools there, i could do hairdressing, or more jewellery. or i could just find a good fultime job and make money. i hope something will happen and take me away from this little barrie town. BC would be so pretty. but i need to find someone to go with me or find a job there. becuase i can picture myself getting there and being screwed somehow and have to move back. i find it hard to get a job. it was so easy before. i have had like 15 jobs. but in the last year i have only had about 3. which is weird. nobody likes the crazy shy dread girl. yep. i still want a monkey to. my dream since i was little was to move out and buy a trillion animals. but i think a monkey is enough. i want a little little monkey. that lives in a cage, i saw one at that place where the guy had the baby monkey. but the little monkey in the cage was cool to. i will kidnap him. I cant wait until winter is over. it hasnt really bothered me that much. but its just getting annoying. always wearing sweatshirts. i want to wear my neet skirts. they are fun. and i cant wait until school is fucking over. its so stressfull. i hate it. it eats all of my money. so many materials. everyday. its so annoyong. i cant wait to make money again and spend it on nothing like clothes and bannanas. or an apartment of my own. exciting. my house will have no tv or computer, or phone! i dont want to pay any bills. they seem stressfull to. and i hate tv, and there are internet cafes downtown. hmm and my bed will be an airmatress with a million blankets and that foam stuff! and i will spend all my extra money that i will save on art stuff, like canvases, and film! wow i have been so poor i havent even bought film this month. maybe i should buy some anyways. ok i have to go, becuase i have to walk to work.. i just remember my van is still broken for the third time. its a joke. anyways