well its been a couple days hasnt it!

so yeah same old me... just trying to enjoy life. Im in toronto right now with aaron! we went to dinner last night and watched movies and this morning i drove him to work and im just waiting until 5 when i have to pick him up. its nice seeing aaron! we havent talked much lately and weve kinda grown apart, but were filled in on eachothers life and hopefully we can spen more of christmas together, im bringing him home to Barrie tonight.. last night we kept waking up becuase people are cleaning next door, except they were cleaning at like 2 in the morning! weird.. haha i have had lots of sleep overs lately, its so fun. i feel like a little kid.. where you stay up late and talk and try to amuse yourslef without doing things like having sex! so fun...

yesterday i got to hang out with lindsay! we went to the mall to go christmas shopping i got to see all of her pictures from school and it looks like she had fun! i miss having good friends like lindsay.. indedery do..

so yes at the mall i went to visit brian and he got off work and came shopping with me and lindsay, then he even came to lindsays house! he had an e mail from his wife he had to show me.. im not really sure what it meant but they sound kinda distant at the moment and there both trying hard to go there seperate ways, and meet new people, and she said something about not being physically attached to him, and if he had to be with other girls it would be ok.......... i kinda jumped into brians life in the middle of it all.. we have so much stuff to talk about.. but im really not looking forward to getting attached to him because hes very open with relationships. and i think i will get forgotten for some other girl very soon! but us being friends and stuff is working out good, were going to go snowboaridng soon again to i hope.... i just know that i like him and im starting to get scared... but yes what should i do with curtis... the emo boy whos got his socks tied in knots over this whole situation... all i know is honestly curtis is more important to me then any guy... its just hard being with him right now becuase im to confused on what i want.. and everytime im with him we have to have some serious conversation that always makes me turn out to be a huge asshole! its not fun.. i just wish we could have fun... but its to hard to. anyways i shouldnt ramble anymore

but i must add i feel so good in my mind today, taking deep breaths and not having cluttering thoughts in my mind.. im happy (: im not sure why.....

i cant wait to go home and finish christmas presents, and dye my hair, and write letters, but thats it things are so stress free! i feel like im under a rainbow right now, i dont have any worries at the moment, i just need to find a job soon so i find enough mony for second semester, then find out what im going to do next year. but i have a feeling it will all work out! and if it doesnt im going to hopefully get run over by a hellicopter.

its events are harmless, and they have brought me to so many people, and places. i try not to take to much because i can feel in my mind what greed is. its importnant to make yourself happy, becuase if you dont someone will waste all there time trying to make you happy. and its not fair! i have a book in my hand filled with pictures cut out from my life, and im proud of it.. im interested in it. its my story and im constatnly turning the pages to see where i will end up next, and as longs as i can keep my mind strong it will be ok.