its 458 kinda the middle of the day i guess. i have some weird thoughts floating through my head today...

very strange. im starting to realize how un important me being on the face of the earth is, i just float around doing stupid things like everyone else, and there are so many people out there who are just like me anyways so why do i even have to exsist? dont you think its pointless? i mean my life is pretty average up until now, i live in a medium sized town, i wear jeans, i have a mom a dad and a brother, i eat food all the same food you probably eat, i probably even go to the washroom exactly as many times a day as anyone else does, i have a car a computer a credit card, i goto college, i graduated high school, my life is a typical regurgitated life of any kid who grew up on this face of the earth... i just feel so insignificant and poitnless... its really weird actually. im sure every little thing i do effects alot of little things, like if i didnt buy home made soap every day maybe the person making the soap wouldnt make so much money off of it. actually that 5$ probably makes absolutly no difference, becasuse if there advertising tacktics got to me, they probbly got to billions in the same category as me...

wow life is weird. its just retarted and pointless... so competitive and absorbing.. faceless nameless and greedy completly concered about money.

sure i guess one person defenatly could change the world. but big deal youd probably change it for the worse anyways. and more and more people would know you and say they hate you for no reason. its just a circle

a retarted circle with no meaning

i hate being a tiny ant in this planet, i could also extremly appretiate it becusse nothing to crazy has happend in my life to make me want to be an assasin and kill the presedent, and the cia arent after me and all that. so i am just a little shadow no one really has to notice, and i can do anything i want. i dont have to wear a turban on my head or hate other peoples religion becuase mine says i have to.

the world is wrong its all wrong.

what i am doing here? i make no sense, and i have no plans that will actully happen. its always a struggle for power happieness and money.

i guess i have happieness im not that worried about money and power is evil.. im quite content, just a little slakking at times. but also very dedicated. like this last week of school when all i wanted to do was be done so i could get to do my things, but ive been done since wednesday. its now sunday and i havent done a thing...

im planning on doing stuff next week, and finding a new job, next week.. well tomorrow. its always a day away.

but yeah im still here writing in my boring journal sitting in my house that has always been here.... yep so now what? am i done yet? man life is so dumb repetitive. and many retareted people extremly enjoy it.. maybe i sohould become a retarted person, drink 26ers smoke crack and buy expensive cars, and eat at mcdonalds every day.... or just eat alot and become one of those fat blobs that cant even get up to go out of there hosue.. those people are funny.. you know who im talking about youve seem then on jerry springer.. theyve got it made... they are just sitting there waiting to have a heart attack becuase they loved greasy delicious food so much they gave in and lived life to its fattest. word... what the fuck..

i cant wait to be done school, even tho the last couple years at georgian have been cool! i really lovethe studio and the people ive met and the person i have become.. it all seems good. but yeah thats about it im going to be old soon and still want to be on the height of my energy and have a good time...

i wish i planted grass seeds somewhere and cleared my mind of this whole competive ladder of society. its eating me up... concerened on how you look how proper you act... the people you know, and if your at the bottom of the ladder life has to suck.. your just another joe blow.. unless you go all out and decide to take down anyone in your path to get everything you want like that exectuive job where you make millions and everything is disposable to you, and you can waste as much as you want and you will be to concered about the success of yourself you wont care if an entire species is being wiped out beccuase you like to write your checks with ink made from there blood... thats about it.. the future for us.

i dont like it....